June 5, 2008

The monk who sold his scooter to buy a diamond ring

(True Story)

Fritz Gonsalves

The monk was my senior in college. A decent guy, from a decent family, dreamed of a decent living and was decently sure he would get it. His name was Prem.

Now Prem was a nice guy, average looks, ok with money, satisfactory in studies. Completely hassle-free, he lived with absolutely no baggage.

Then one day everything went horribly wrong; he fell in love with a girl who was just the opposite of him. She was beautiful, had flirtatious eyes, sharp smile and a nice tongue. She was Ronita.

Prem was completely flippo, Ronita was not interested. Prem started following her, she stopped walking. Prem became desperate, she responded slightly.

Suddenly, one day, the heavenly intervention that Prem desperately needed came. In a state of inebriation Ronita’s dad decided to try his luck with the housemaid - she ran outside yelling rape. Prem, who was circling Ronita’s house, jumped in to her rescue, quietened everybody in the house, and became a hero to Ronita.

And thus began a love story that’s even more stupid than Ronita’s dad’s chance pe dance adventure. From a decent guy Prem became the father of decent guys. I mean, the guy stopped smoking and drinking because Ronita didn’t like it. What’s worse, earlier he at least used to say a ma ki or bhen ki, but now even these words disappeared. He only wanted ‘R’ and her pyaar pyaar pyaar. He was living in bliss. He used to get up with a smile, smile all the way to college and the sleep with a smile.

Then the big day arrived, their first Valentine’s Day. By now they had been going around for 3 months and one day suddenly you have Saint Valentine knocking on your door. Prem needed money. He wanted to gift Ronita a diamond ring because diamonds are forever…ta ta ta da!

So Prem asked his mom. She said no. Then he asked his dad. He gave him a thousand, but Prem needed 5000. He became desperate again… “please please God...somebody, anybody help me get the money.”

Suddenly he was stuck with an idea that only Romeo’s great grand son could have imagined. Prem used to drive around on an old Bajaj Chetak, which his dad gifted him on the day he got admission to college. He decided to sell it; he would then make up a story that it was stolen and then, whatever.

He succeeded in the venture and sold his two-year old scooter for eight thousand rupees. Three thousand more…now he could even gift her a big teddy….so swchheet!

He bought the ring, satin-wrapped it and gifted it. “What the fuck a diamond ring, my love, my jaan, my khandaan”. Ronita was overjoyed. She responded, “What a valentine gift…you are the one…but where did you get the money?” Prem replied, “Damm it, who cares, a diamond ring, I love you.” Prem was pretty sure he died and was eating chocolate mousse cake in heaven.

The End.

Today both Prem and Ronita are happily married. Prem is married to Alice. And Ronita is married to Denzil. All four are very happy. As for the diamond ring, Denzil (Ronita’s husband), pawned it to buy a second-hand scooter.

About the author: Fritz is a writer with iContract Advertising. He is fond of food and Jessica Alba.

(Feel like writing a humour story? Go ahead. And shoot it across to me at: dezymacedo@gmail.com i'll upload it here :)