November 17, 2009

Save Conversations, Recycle Them

Kim S Macedo

It’s a weekend.

We guys meet at a friend’s place and start to catch up. Suddenly one guy says, “Did you see that car parked down the road?” One car freak will give you the car’s history, “Yeah, it’s a 1969 Ford Mustang Shelby.”

And so it starts.

While everyone is talking about cars, one guy is looking at the TV in the background. He’s watching a scene from a movie. He diverts everyone's attention, “Guys, you must watch ‘Gone in 60 seconds’. It’s a crazy ass movie.” One after the other the guys go “Dude watch this film”, “Watch that film”

How well guys change subjects … now everyone's watching the TV.

There's an interval and ad's are showing. A Pepsi commercial appears. Messi, Rooney, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Beckham, Raul, Henry are playing a game. There the guys go again. “Dude yaw’ll saw last week’s game between Barcelona & Man U? Barca kicked ass.” Another guy says: “Screw Barca. Wait till they meet Chelsea, then we shall see.” As the football topic continues the ad changes; it’s another Pepsi ad but a cricket version. Then the guys go “Dude India”, “Dude Pakistan”, “Dude West Indies” and the ad is over.

There's silence for a few seconds…everyone’s waiting for the next subject.

One guy speaks: “Dude, some hot chicks in this building man. I came up in the lift with 3 sizzling Lebanese and Moroccan chicks.” Another guy says, “Hookers Dude.” The first guy says: “Whatever dude, they're hot.” Another guy says” “That's nothing, where I work there are these hot Russian chicks.” Another guy, "Dude, Indian chicks." This carries on for chicks of every nationality.

A guy’s mobile rings. He's got a Nokia E-71. Another says: “Nice phone dude I like this one.” Another guy says immediately, “Nokia is so common.” Another guy says: “Touch phones suck.” All agree.

Guy talk goes best with drinking. And it’s a weekend, remember.

One guy starts, as he asks for the bottle, “Guys yaw'll should try Johnnie Walker Gold, it’s smooth.” Another guy says, “Gold's great, but Blue is better.” Another guy says, “You should try chilly Tequillas, Zambukas & Kamikaze's. You won’t know whether it’s morning or night.” Then to prove everybody ignorant, another guy says, “Yaw’ll should try Absent. All of you will be gone till November."

The drinks have hit everyone and the boys are a little serious. Now the subject is work.

Everyone starts asking each other, “Dude what do you do? The boys are tipsy so you get shitty answers like: ‘I do you’ or ‘I do the Dew.’ This pisses off some guys. So one guy says, “No seriously, what do you do?” One says Auto Industry, one says Marine, one Freight, one Travel, one Banking and so on. But for some freakin’ reason everyone’s in Sales and the mood is not upbeat all around due to the recession.

Then a new topic arrives after 6 pegs. Everyone wants to be entrepreneurs.

Then the guys feel hungry. “Let’s go out”, says one. They take their cars out. One takes a Dodge, one takes a Jag, one takes a Chevy, one takes a Lexus. When they reach the restaurant, guess what they’re talking about? Cars. All start with their shit like 5.7 Hemi, V8, 0-60, 1969, 2010 Supercharged and on and on and on.

Guy conversations are about Cars, Chicks, Movies, Sports, Gadgets, Booze, now and then Business & Work.

It’s the same, weekend after weekend, until we’re 75 years and all in a ‘Home For The Aged’… one ol’ bugger there will start, "My son's got the latest Harley D."